Theme, theme, theme. That is the question for most couples. Since there are two of you, how can you decide on a compromise that will suit you both while dazzling the guests, and making you and the parents happy? Begin with the basics. You may want to start spending your free time daydreaming the possibilities.
Mistakenly, most couples think that a huge wedding guest list is the only reason, or way, to plan a theme-wedding but that is so taboo. Any wedding of any size can become whatever your imagination can whip up. Choosing a theme and taking the time to narrow down the options, are your easiest way to narrow down all of the choices you are going to be presented with.
Start simple. Sit down with your fiancé, designate one of you to keep track of ideas on paper, and just begin brainstorming. Start with the simple things such as the color. What colors do you want to see? What is his favorite color? What is yours? Do they mesh? Would you like an indoor or outdoor ceremony/reception? Casual attire or formal wear? What are your favorite songs? Favorite foods? Favorite People! What hobbies do the two of you share, and how can they be incorporated? Do you like wine, poetry, contemporary, or extraordinary? Do all of the brainstorming up front. Amazingly, after jotting down all of these simple, complex, and somewhat crazy answers, you very well may more than the theme already decided upon.
If the idea is more specific, that's great, it will be easy to designate certain aspects. Even if your ideas are more generalized this will give you "play room" to negotiate on some details later on. You need to play with your answers. Ask friends for their input. There are no limits to the creativity you can use for your theme. If you both love jazz, fiery colors, and dancing, then you may decide that a "Fiery Passion" theme is the right fit. Full of reds, oranges, a jazz band at the reception, and lots of beautiful dancing. Have a candle flame on the invitations, and even jazz band instrument favors at the tables with red and orange confetti. You can make it your own.
Feel free to change the theme if the first one loses its flair. The theme should be chosen carefully and thought over for several days or weeks while you consider how to make it special, and how to incorporate it. But remember, you may not be able to change the theme after the invitations are sent, and unless you make it apparent in the invitations, for example, the guests may not know the exact theme. You can go so far as to invite friends and family to dress according to the theme.
Have fun with this. You can have a Hawaiian luow, a king and queen theme, a masquerade ball, or even a Star Trek theme. It is your precious day and you decide how you spend the best few hours of one of the best day of your life. Make it special, make it your own.